The New York Times says sex ed should start earlier than you think. Elizabeth Bruenig at writes in The Atlantic that modern porn education is totally unprepared for modern porn. As children start to wonder where babies come from and why, many parents may be at a loss for words when it comes to the sometimes very specific questions children have. Should they change the subject? Should they wait until an opportune moment to have the talk? If today’s headlines indicate anything, it is that parents are fighting an uphill battle when it comes to teaching their kids about sex before the surrounding culture – or other kids – do.
Comprehensive Sex Ed Undermines Parental Authority
While comprehensive sex ed programs purport to prepare children for healthy relationships and sexual well-being, their implementation often unfortunately includes pernicious messages about sex and gender supported by powerful factions within our culture. This confuses children about the meaning of sex and the body and undermines the fundamental right of parents to tailor discussions according to their child’s personal maturity. Parental authority to direct sexual education is crucial not simply because it’s about sex, but because sex is inevitably tied up with identity and relationships. Because sexual education has become deeply enmeshed with identity politics, the well-worn wisdom parents hope to convey to their kids can be challenged, if not outright compromised, by the notions of gender fluidity and and sexual orientation pushed in public and private institutions. Comprehensive sex ed contains some positive elements which parents should seek to emulate, such as being honest with a child about their different body parts and their functions. Other aspects could be done without –such as premature introduction to the idea that certain body parts can be stimulated for pleasure, that touching oneself and others is okay as long as it’s “consensual,” and that your body parts don’t dictate your gender. Any parent who wishes to educate their child properly as to the nature and meaning of sex has to walk a fine line between telling the truth and spoiling the child’s innocence.
Premature Exposure Doesn’t Eliminate Abuse
Another danger of comprehensive sex ed as instantiated in schools is the tendency of certain teachers to expose children to harmful content under the guise of education. What would normally qualify as age-inappropriate at best and borderline criminal at worst is deemed forward-thinking. Porn literacy is one example of such miseducation. Exposing elementary school-aged children to pornographic terms and images before they discover it themselves will do nothing to help them “think critically” about it. Instead, it will desensitize them to degrading images of men and women and depersonalized sexual acts. If actual pornography is used to “teach” students about their bodies, what does that tell them about the human beings depicted? That their bodies are to be consumed for your own personal pleasure? No child should have to contemplate such images, and the weighty moral responsibilities which accompany them, before they are prepared to interpret them. No one should be forced to view pornography for any purpose, whether or not it’s “educational.” It is naïve to believe that such demonstrations couldn’t constitute sexual abuse, when a child without the will or inclination is exposed to shocking images without their consent.
A Guide to the Birds and the Bees
One of the greatest resources out there for parents are the CanaVox courses on sex and gender identity. Each video equips parents with the framework and facts they need to address these issues at elementary, middle, and high-school ages. Most important is to start early in an age-appropriate manner. Be simple and direct, and don’t shame them for asking questions about things they may have heard from others. You want to encourage rather than discourage discussion, especially early on before your child seeks more independence from you. Now, how does this apply if you’re a student leader? Why is this relevant to you, especially if you’re not planning to become a parent anytime soon? Well, some of the principles laid out in these videos may be helpful if you’re looking for a way to explain to your peers in a plainspoken yet truthful manner why you believe what you believe about sex, marriage, and family. Also, it pays to be aware of the developmental needs of the children around you so that you can respond appropriately and confidently to any questions they may have. Whether you’re babysitting or simply looking to set a positive example for the children around you, learning some positive strategies for broaching these topics can go a long way in correcting some of the more nefarious forms of sexual indoctrination swirling around us.
