An article by Grace Emily Stark for the Institute for Family Studies blog describes how Millennials are embracing the “child-free” lifestyle by getting sterilized. Stark chalks it up to a number of different fears, including tokophobia, the cost of raising children or bringing them into “uncertain times.” She writes that after years of enduring the “the risks and side effects” of hormonal birth control, Millennial women are turned off from embracing their fertility. Not to mention how culture incentivizes us to be unattached, unburdened, and autonomous selves while setting relatively low expectations for marriage and family. Stark wonders whether intentional childlessness is the “cause or symptom” of Millennial loneliness, burnout, and depression, given their lower rates of marriage and childbearing relative to previous generations.
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Forced to Care
Anne Helen Petersen, a former BuzzFeed writer who currently authors the Substack newsletter Culture Study, wrote this week about the dearth of care for children, elderly, and sick adults in our society, and what that means for parents and adults who work who are forced to take on assume the caretaker role for a loved one. Elaborating on what Evelyn Nakano Glenn, author of Forced to Care, has dubbed the “care crisis,” Petersen writes that we need a stronger infrastructure of care to fill the gaps with more providers, but also to curtail its coercive effects on those who are forced to become caretakers, especially women. While the phenomenon she describes is real and pressing, her proposed solution is a band aid to deeper issues afflicting family life in America – particularly the effects of globalization, professionalization, atomization, and commercialization.
History is Not the Whole Story
In 1980, President Jimmy Carter designated the week of March 8th “Women’s History Week.” Eventually, it became Women’s History Month, and is now celebrated across the world to commemorate and promote the study of women in history. At the same time, it is no secret that those who pushed for it want to infuse a particular view of womanhood into our national understanding. As National Geographic notes, “women have always been part of history…but for centuries, their participation in it was overlooked [by]…historians [who] often saw the past through the lens of the “great man” theory, which holds that history is largely shaped by “male heroes and their struggles.” The canonization of women who have made significant intellectual, scientific, and artistic contributions is important for passing on a clearer view of history. However, technological advancements and personal achievements are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to woman’s historical contributions, and her biggest contribution in fact is one a man could never make – children.
Friendship and Free Speech
Is free speech in danger on college campuses? A student at the University of Virginia recently sparked debate when she argued in a New York Times article that yes, free speech is in danger as most students self-censor for fear of social ostracism and academic reprisal. Responses ranged from the complimentary to the critical predictably along ideological boundaries, with progressives arguing that freedom of speech is a red herring to distract from social inequities and conservatives lamenting the loss of a basic human right for which our ancestors fought and died. Indeed, for most of human history there has been no guaranteed right to speak freely without fear of retaliation, and arguably it is only since the early modern period that governments prioritized it within their constitutions. But upholding freedom of speech in an age where it is being questioned means recalling its ultimate object: truth telling for the good of the other.
Unto the Seventh Generation
Readers of How to Hope know that we love the work of the Institute for Family Studies not only for its timely and necessary research, but also for its reflections on why family and marriage matter. Recently, they republished Why Bother Having Kids? from former BuzzFeed News reporter Jim Dalrymple II’s newsletter on family. It’s a question more people are asking nowadays than ever before, and Dalrymple evaluates from the skeptic’s perspective common arguments made in favor of having kids. The most convincing one? Having kids is a part of the human experience. But for those who remain in doubt, Dalrymple advances yet another argument borrowed from the Iroquois, which resonates with our sense of justice and desire for transcendence.
We Should Always Incentivize Marriage
Business Insider recently blamed “post-World War II” marriage and family values for single women’s high cost of living. Citing “penalties” accrued across the rental and home-buying industries to workplaces and the tax code, the author attempts to argue that the economic strains placed on single people, particularly young single women, are the result of obsolete economic policymaking. Here’s why we push back on the idea that single people are being penalized for their relationship status and why our government should incentivize marriage and family.
The Assault on Love
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and Princeton University Health Services is getting ready to celebrate with a “LATEXhibition” in which Princeton students will compete for prizes by creating “something beautiful and educational out of expired latex condoms.” That’s right – on Feburary 14 (now marketed as National Condom Day) students will not be encouraged to evaluate their own dating practices, to establish healthy boundaries, or to think about what a happy, fulfilling relationship might be like. It shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that such an event would be held on University grounds, given its track record and the event sponsor’s stated values, which expressly call for “harm reduction” instead of “abstinence or prohibition.” In other words, virtues like temperance and chastity, prudence and modesty are not only out-of-bounds, but a threat to the very existence of social justice initiatives which seek to wipe traditional norms from our cultural memory. The nature and meaning of selfless love, which Valentine’s Day should signify, has been obscured by commercialization and trivialities like condom art.
Wedding in the Metaverse
Two couples are making headlines for holding virtual, “metaverse” weddings, in addition to their real ceremonies. Since Mark Zuckerberg’s announcement that Facebook, Inc. would be renamed Meta, debates have raged over whether the metaverse will be a boon or a curse for society. As with any new technology, the metaverse is likely to be a mixture of both. When it comes to relationships, however, this powerful blend of virtual and augmented realities will likely exacerbate some of the existing issues we have with social media. Alienation and attention issues are the least of its possible impact. Virtual relationships, driven by novelty and abstraction, are opposed to the constancy and intimacy real life relationships require. In the case of marriage, these are non-negotiable. However, it’s easy to imagine that some will argue to validate virtual unions in the coming years as the metaverse and similar technologies expand.
Parenting at Work, Working At Home
Recent articles over the past couple years have have decried the setbacks to women as a result of the pandemic, particularly regarding income loss and decreased work participation. Aside from the notion that a decline in female workforce participation must always mean an unintentional loss rather than the result of women’s intentional decision-making, recent workplace measures from the past ten years have enabled mothers to work, and demonstrate the advancements women and families have made in spite of an economic system inimical to family flourishing.
Home Improvement: Let’s Demolish Divorce
Between Christmas and New Years’ Day, a time when most families are celebrating the holidays, the Atlantic published “How I Demolished My Life: A Home Improvement Story” by staff writer Honor Jones, about her home renovation and subsequent divorce. Much like two recent critically acclaimed films which depict divorce as a kind of freedom from the limitations of marriage – Netflix’s Marriage Story and HBO’s reboot of the 1973 Swedish miniseries Scenes From a Marriage – Jones’ reflection dramatizes her own ill-defined quest for personal fulfillment, leaving her spouse and children, as well as their feelings, by the wayside.