If you’re just starting school, you’re probably thinking about a lot – perhaps you’re picking classes to add or drop, choosing a major, starting independent work, or thinking about life after graduation. If you’re a Love and Fidelity Network student, you may also be wondering how to start or grow your student group, organize orientation activities and schedule events. Whether you’re at the beginning or end of your college journey, we want to help you discover and refine your personal mission this semester. We also hope to inspire you, as a friend of our network, to dream up new ways of sharing your beliefs about family, marriage, and sexual integrity with peers.
Follow That Still, Small Voice
When college gets overwhelming and noisy, make it a priority to listen to that still, small voice within you to discern your true calling. Think about what it is you like to do, your strengths and weaknesses, and don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for their honest advice. Be open to change, even when it’s demanding. If you follow that still, small voice, you will sidestep distractions and stay on track in school, clarifying the kind of life you want to pursue. Don’t be afraid to let go of whatever deters you from that vision. When it comes to forming or growing a student group, always begin by understanding yourself and your abilities. Put your strengths in service of your student group’s mission by infusing it with your major or your independent work; be an advocate on your sports team or in your sorority. If you hope to be a good advocate, aim to be seen before you are heard. Although our society is quick to respond to loud, brash statements, never underestimate the power of quiet, personal witness for effective, long-game advocacy.
Recruit, Recruit, Recruit
If you have an orientation fair, take advantage of this opportunity to make your student group visible! It’s not often that you’ll have students from all walks of life gathered in one space looking for answers. Recruitment should be personal and heartfelt – ask students about themselves and their interests, being tactful and willing to offer up reasons for your positions should they come up. Invite older students who are friendly to your cause (not necessarily a part of your group) to table with you so you aren’t going it alone. Help them prepare to table by coming up with a Q&A list on family, marriage, and sexual integrity. Encourage them to share their personal testimonies about why they hold the values they do. Bring a sign-up sheet with fields for name and email, infographics, printouts, and music. Get creative with an eye-catching trifold display, complete with images from our national conference and from past group meetings. Embrace any awkwardness you may face – this is totally natural and possible to overcome. If you need more ideas or help, please reach out to us.
Pursue Authentic Friendship
Campus can feel lonely sometimes, with everyone pursuing their separate agendas, heads buried in books or laptops. While this can make advocacy for family, marriage, and sexual integrity even more intimidating than it already is, don’t be afraid of striking up conversations. Foster an atmosphere of civility in your dorm and on the field by taking genuine interest in others’ destinies. Strike up a conversation with that acquaintance whom you’ve sat next to since day one of classes. Ask them how they’re doing and inquire about their dreams, and take them seriously. If you make campus more hospitable for that one person, just imagine how that sets the tone for their own relationships and impacts their reception of arguments for family, marriage, and sexual integrity! The philosopher Aristotle wrote in his Nicomachean Ethics that the highest form of friendship is one of virtue, where both friends will the good of each other. While the virtuous friendship is “higher” than those of utility and pleasure according to Aristotle, remember that friendships of virtue often develop from those of utility (study buddies) and pleasure (teammates). You don’t have to wait to become someone’s “best friend” to try to love and understand them in a spirit of goodwill.
Start a Reading Group
Being a student leader can involve everything from organizing group meetings, event planning and tabling, to writing op-eds and rounding up students who are willing to articulate and visibly represent the group mission. We know that any number of these things can be challenging, depending on your group status and campus atmosphere. That’s why it’s crucial to equip yourself and willing friends with the research and arguments needed to defend family, marriage, and sexual integrity. For research, check out the Institute for Family Studies, and for arguments, check out Public Discourse and Them Before Us – also check out our YouTube channel for expert talks from our past national conferences. Hold weekly or monthly meetings for your group by extending personal invitations to those you think support all or part of the mission. Choose those whom you think would actively contribute their point of view and charitably receive others’ points of view. While research is important, it’s often not enough to convict someone of why they should personally pursue or defend marriage, family, and sexual integrity in their own lives. Arguments also can’t testify to their beauty and value the way literature and personal testimonies can, which is why we’re launching Chapters 1-5 of our Be Somebody to Somebody reading course for your use this fall. We hope you choose to walk together through this collection of essays, articles, poems, short stories, and videos to deepen your own convictions and cultivate friendships.
When The Going Gets Tough
College is never easy, and at times you may feel doubts about the path you are taking. Always ground yourself in things of eternal value – faith, love, and friendship. If you’re religious, ground yourself in your faith and look to members of your faith community for support. If you’re not, ground yourself in the people you love and the activities that refresh you. Let any hostility you face as a result of your advocacy energize you on behalf of your campus community. Be kind and welcoming to all, especially those who disagree with you. Work with students, professors, and administrators alike, demonstrating that you care about all members of your campus community. Lastly, when the going gets tough, know that you have our support every step of the way.
