A woman and a man form the marital bond for a variety for reasons—some of them noble and lofty—even, perhaps, supernatural. But such bonds begin, in part, with the subrational—the mutual attraction between male and female. All marriage-minded people, then, should have at least some familiarity with the basic facts of mutual attraction. They should appreciate both their own unchosen desires and those of their potential counterparts. Stated otherwise, the marriage-minded man should know not only what he likes in a potential wife, but also what she might like in a future husband. And the marriage-minded woman should have comparable knowledge. Nonetheless, for a variety of reasons peculiar to our times, these basic facts of mutual attraction have become increasingly obscure. Despite the candor of our time, our discourse about sex and marriage is increasingly marked with veils and angry denial. This obscurity impairs our ability to engage in that mutual attraction necessary to marriage. In this presentation, Dr. Upham aims to lift our current veil and tell the truth about mutual attraction–with candor and good humor. Although these facts are somewhat disappointing or hard, in the whole, they are hopeful. An appreciation of these facts will equip the marriage minded with the joy and confidence necessary to the marital enterprise.
Dr. David R. Upham is an Assistant Professor of Politics and Director of Legal Studies at the University of Dallas. His interests include constitutional law, legal writing, and the constitutional changes brought by the American Civil War. His commentary has appeared in the National Review Online and the Wall Street Journal; his scholarly work has appeared in the Rutgers Journal of Law and Religion, Texas Law Review, and others. He is the author of Getting Hitched: Rediscovering the Basic Truths of Mutual Attraction (CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2015), in which he examines, with both humor and candor, how we have forgotten some of the most basic truths about human attraction. He holds a J.D. from the University of Texas School of Law (2005), a Ph.D. from the University of Dallas (2002), and a B.A. from Middlebury College (1993).