Building the next generation of leaders for marriage, family, and sexual integrity

An Upperclassman’s Advice to Parents:
A List of Do’s and Dont’s

 

DO…

  • Be clear about your hopes for your child and why your child should strive to live by a high moral standard
  • Be honest with your child about the challenges and opportunities of college life
  • Encourage your child to find a community on campus where there is ample support for living out sexual integrity
  • Speak to your child regularly and give your child the chance to talk
  • Invite conversation about the difficulties your child may be facing on campus, providing empathy and support
  • Occasionally pass along links and articles that can help your child learn more about how to make smart decisions
  • Remind your child that he/she is deserving of love and respect
  • Respect your child as the adult he/she now is, but know that you are still needed as a parent
  • Give your child a reasonable amount of space, independence, and responsibility to help him/her grow as an adult
  • Give your child the benefit of the doubt and trust that he/she will make smart decisions
  • Give your child the freedom to come to you for help
  • Be there to guide your child and suggest means of help when your child makes a mistake
  • Make an effort to get to know your child’s college friends. Invite them to your home on breaks or offer to take them out for ice cream when you visit campus
  • Be an example of the virtues you want your child to acquire and develop, and remain a stable source of love and support

DON’T…

  • Be a helicopter parent; it just engenders the desire for more independence
  • Tease too much or be overly anxious when your child mentions he/she is interested in someone or has started to date
  • Be passive aggressive if something upsets you; better to keep the lines of communication open and sincere
  • Try to control your child’s choices or micromanage their life
  • Be afraid to give advice, but be sure to listen to your child first
  • Assume that your child will compromise his/her beliefs or fall to the pressures of college social life (give yourself some credit for raising him/her well!)

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