| Network |
Network Resources
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |  |  |  |  |
Resources: Understand the Arguments
“Christian Courtship: Different from the Dating Game” by Henrietta Gomes,
Catholic online
This article argues that dating must occur with a view to marriage, and that there ought to
be certain non-negotiables (such as Church teachings on contraception and cohabitation) in
these relationships.
http://www.catholic.org/diocese/diocese_story.php?id=23014
“What is Courtship All About?” by Carmen Marcoux
This article is primarily concerned with the differences between courtship and dating. In
courtship, the consideration of marriage is at the forefront, unlike dating, which often occurs
between couples who feel that their partner is not marriage material. Marcoux also discusses
practical considerations about responsibility and accountability. http://www.
revolutionoflove.com/singles/courtship/courtship.html
“Proposing Courtship” by Amy and Leon Kass, First Things
A discussion of how gender neutrality in contemporary society has led to a loss of
manhood and womanhood, which in turn led to a lack of appreciation for romance and
courtship. The Kasses suggest that modern literature has desensitized us to this sort of
interaction, and they provide an example from Erasmus’ Colloquy to explain the importance
of courtship and a view towards marriage. http://www.firstthings.com/article.php3?
id_article=3213
“The End of Courtship” (Parts 1, 2, and 3) by Leon Kass
Kass presents the current state of affairs with regard to courtship, and laments various
problems, such as the devaluing the family, the overemphasis on pleasure, and relationships
without a view towards marriage. He then presents a brief solution: women need to raise the
banner of “not until we’re married.”
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001154.cfm
(parts 2 and 3 linked at bottom of page)
“A Case for Courtship” by Amy Kass
Kass begins by suggesting that in the modern world, the assumption of premarital sex in
relationships has created a problem for people interested in beginning families and having
meaningful relationships. She suggests that we can learn from our predecessors about the
importance of courtship. Similar to other articles by Leon and Amy Cass, but the ties to
literature are always very interesting and insightful. http://www.americanvalues.
org/html/2_kass_keynote.html
“Take Back the Date” by Allison Kasic
An article endorsing dating (perhaps what some might call courtship) and getting to know a
romantic interest personally rather than engaging in the campus hook-up culture. A short
but good article; more advocacy than information. http://www.iwf.
org/campus/show/20122.html
“When Good Girls Date Bad Boys” by Mary Beth Bonacci
Bonacci discusses the phenomenon of nice girls dating bad boys. She attributes this to
young men understanding what girls want, and pretending to be emotional and sensitive,
while in reality they may be bad boys. Bonacci warns parents not to be deceived by
appearances, and not to push their daughters to date boys that seem nice on the surface.
http://www.reallove.net/articleshowaf25.html?ID=93
“Passionate Attachments in the West in Historical Perspective” by Lawrence
Stone
Stone points out that marrying for love is a largely modern phenomenon, and indicates
that sexual fulfillment being accepted as the primary right of both men and women has led to
destructive consequences.
“Where is the Love? Students Eschew Campus Romance” by Sue
Shellenbarger, Wall Street Journal
College romances are becoming a thing of the past, according to Shellenbarger, who says
they have been replaced by office romances. People are marrying later, and choose to not
have serious relationships in college. This article is mainly focused on observing and
commenting on the trend, rather than making an argument.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120172523751229601.html
“Romance in the Information Age” by Christine Rosen
In the modern era, people are treated as products, and technology leads us to seek
efficiency, even in personal relationships. Rosen argues that we must be patient and allow
romance to develop slowly.
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/romance-in-the-information-age
Excerpt from Love, Dating, and Romance by Rabbi Pinchas Stolper
Rabbi Stolper addresses how Jews should treat dating and relationships, and explains why
Jewish law prohibits physical contact in dating. http://www.simpletoremember.
com/vitals/lovedatingromance.htm
“The Superglue Touch” an excerpt from The Magic Touch: A Jewish Approach
to Relationships by Gila Manolson
Provides an outline of the Jewish idea of shomer negiah (allowing no physical contact
between a couple until marriage) and emphasizes the extraordinary power of physical touch
in relationships. Encourages sensitivity in our physical interactions.
http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/jewish-view-sex-marriage-sexuality.htm
“Injuries, the Self-Fulfilling Prophesy,” an excerpt from The Magic Touch: A
Jewish Approach to Relationships by Gila Manolson
Focuses on the importance of preserving physical closeness for permanent relationships in
order to protect the deeply emotional component of our romantic interactions. http://www.
simpletoremember.com/vitals/magictouch.htm
“Dating Is About Dumping”
This article is a response to those that remain in relationships that they know are not
working out because they fear hurting people’s feelings. This article stresses that dating
involves rejection, and that the way to show the person you are dating that you care about
them is to dump them promptly and kindly and free them up to find their Mr. or Ms. Right.
http://www.reallove.net/articleshow6f59.html?ID=43
“Love, Dating, Marriage, and Morality: The Latter-day Saint Way”
An FAQ with answers to common questions about the view of sexuality within the Church
of Latter-Day Saints. A simple but helpful resource.
http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/love.shtml#affection
Catholic online
This article argues that dating must occur with a view to marriage, and that there ought to
be certain non-negotiables (such as Church teachings on contraception and cohabitation) in
these relationships.
http://www.catholic.org/diocese/diocese_story.php?id=23014
“What is Courtship All About?” by Carmen Marcoux
This article is primarily concerned with the differences between courtship and dating. In
courtship, the consideration of marriage is at the forefront, unlike dating, which often occurs
between couples who feel that their partner is not marriage material. Marcoux also discusses
practical considerations about responsibility and accountability. http://www.
revolutionoflove.com/singles/courtship/courtship.html
“Proposing Courtship” by Amy and Leon Kass, First Things
A discussion of how gender neutrality in contemporary society has led to a loss of
manhood and womanhood, which in turn led to a lack of appreciation for romance and
courtship. The Kasses suggest that modern literature has desensitized us to this sort of
interaction, and they provide an example from Erasmus’ Colloquy to explain the importance
of courtship and a view towards marriage. http://www.firstthings.com/article.php3?
id_article=3213
“The End of Courtship” (Parts 1, 2, and 3) by Leon Kass
Kass presents the current state of affairs with regard to courtship, and laments various
problems, such as the devaluing the family, the overemphasis on pleasure, and relationships
without a view towards marriage. He then presents a brief solution: women need to raise the
banner of “not until we’re married.”
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001154.cfm
(parts 2 and 3 linked at bottom of page)
“A Case for Courtship” by Amy Kass
Kass begins by suggesting that in the modern world, the assumption of premarital sex in
relationships has created a problem for people interested in beginning families and having
meaningful relationships. She suggests that we can learn from our predecessors about the
importance of courtship. Similar to other articles by Leon and Amy Cass, but the ties to
literature are always very interesting and insightful. http://www.americanvalues.
org/html/2_kass_keynote.html
“Take Back the Date” by Allison Kasic
An article endorsing dating (perhaps what some might call courtship) and getting to know a
romantic interest personally rather than engaging in the campus hook-up culture. A short
but good article; more advocacy than information. http://www.iwf.
org/campus/show/20122.html
“When Good Girls Date Bad Boys” by Mary Beth Bonacci
Bonacci discusses the phenomenon of nice girls dating bad boys. She attributes this to
young men understanding what girls want, and pretending to be emotional and sensitive,
while in reality they may be bad boys. Bonacci warns parents not to be deceived by
appearances, and not to push their daughters to date boys that seem nice on the surface.
http://www.reallove.net/articleshowaf25.html?ID=93
“Passionate Attachments in the West in Historical Perspective” by Lawrence
Stone
Stone points out that marrying for love is a largely modern phenomenon, and indicates
that sexual fulfillment being accepted as the primary right of both men and women has led to
destructive consequences.
“Where is the Love? Students Eschew Campus Romance” by Sue
Shellenbarger, Wall Street Journal
College romances are becoming a thing of the past, according to Shellenbarger, who says
they have been replaced by office romances. People are marrying later, and choose to not
have serious relationships in college. This article is mainly focused on observing and
commenting on the trend, rather than making an argument.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120172523751229601.html
“Romance in the Information Age” by Christine Rosen
In the modern era, people are treated as products, and technology leads us to seek
efficiency, even in personal relationships. Rosen argues that we must be patient and allow
romance to develop slowly.
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/romance-in-the-information-age
Excerpt from Love, Dating, and Romance by Rabbi Pinchas Stolper
Rabbi Stolper addresses how Jews should treat dating and relationships, and explains why
Jewish law prohibits physical contact in dating. http://www.simpletoremember.
com/vitals/lovedatingromance.htm
“The Superglue Touch” an excerpt from The Magic Touch: A Jewish Approach
to Relationships by Gila Manolson
Provides an outline of the Jewish idea of shomer negiah (allowing no physical contact
between a couple until marriage) and emphasizes the extraordinary power of physical touch
in relationships. Encourages sensitivity in our physical interactions.
http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/jewish-view-sex-marriage-sexuality.htm
“Injuries, the Self-Fulfilling Prophesy,” an excerpt from The Magic Touch: A
Jewish Approach to Relationships by Gila Manolson
Focuses on the importance of preserving physical closeness for permanent relationships in
order to protect the deeply emotional component of our romantic interactions. http://www.
simpletoremember.com/vitals/magictouch.htm
“Dating Is About Dumping”
This article is a response to those that remain in relationships that they know are not
working out because they fear hurting people’s feelings. This article stresses that dating
involves rejection, and that the way to show the person you are dating that you care about
them is to dump them promptly and kindly and free them up to find their Mr. or Ms. Right.
http://www.reallove.net/articleshow6f59.html?ID=43
“Love, Dating, Marriage, and Morality: The Latter-day Saint Way”
An FAQ with answers to common questions about the view of sexuality within the Church
of Latter-Day Saints. A simple but helpful resource.
http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/love.shtml#affection
Dating and Courtship