by the Princeton Anscombe Society Officer Team
On February 11, 2016 the Princeton Anscombe Society hosted Dr. John Van Epp who lectured on the topic of college dating and relationships. His talk, entitled “How to Follow Your Heart without Losing Your Mind,” brought in an attendance of roughly sixty people. An engaging and interactive speaker, Van Epp used aids, like an easel and his RAM (Relationship Attachment Model), to illustrate his points. Using research from his book How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, Van Epp advocated the development of knowledge and trust in a relationship before progressing to such attachments as reliance, commitment, and touch. He also encouraged the development of knowledge before trust, since we often jump to positive conclusions about an individual when we really don’t have enough information to go on.
According to Van Epp, if we follow the natural order of attachment (which begins with knowledge, followed by trust, reliance, commitment, and touch – in that order), then not only will we have more successful and fulfilling relationships, but likewise, we will leave relationships without regret, feeling like we have at the very least learned more about ourselves through the experience.
After about an hour and a half, the lecture concluded and members from the audience were given a chance for Q&A. The opportunity was readily taken, and audience members posed many engaging questions to Van Epp. The Daily Princetonian also reported on the event!
The message of Van Epp’s talk was very much in line with Anscombe’s ideals, and we hope that his ideas continue to be talked about and implemented by those who had the opportunity to hear him.